Unfortunately an emergency wine tasting excursion prevents me from forwarding this week's email from the A-4. But I am offering you this "golden oldie" from 2011. Enjoy!
To: Abbottsville Temple District
From: Gordon Skousen, President of the Abbottsville Temple
Subject: The Unfortunate Incident.
On behalf of the Abbottsville Temple Presidency, I wish to convey our heartfelt condolences to the victims of the Abbottsville Temple Tragedy.
As many of you now know, early this morning temple worker Wilbur Simmons stood at the altar to officiate a routine endowment session. It started out as planned. But when it came time for Adam to receive the Aaronic Priesthood, Brother Simmons, who was unaccustomed to his new bifocals, sent the room into chaos when he accidentally hit the fast forward button.
Panic ensued as obedient temple patrons scrambled to robe, disrobe, then re-robe in the Holy Priesthood. -- A break-neck frenzy resulting in strangulation, indecent exposure, heart attack, excitement induced incontinence, and one near casualty by a brother who accidentally slit his own throat.
"The prayer circle got nasty," said Sister Lee Ann Hargen of the Abbottsville First Ward. "There was a lot of rough and tumble Patriarchal Gripping. Also, some obscene gesturing with the Sign of the Nail."
|Only the best of feelings should exist within the Prayer Circle.|
|When played backwards|
the temple film is an
episode of South Park.