tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1884927711300537802.post4839444987306331815..comments2023-06-17T08:49:52.285-07:00Comments on Ward Gossip: Wisdom From The Relief Society KitchenDonna Bantahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01271377907141866718noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1884927711300537802.post-56713601256222493532010-08-25T08:52:43.564-07:002010-08-25T08:52:43.564-07:00Wow. Can't make this stuff up! That's why ...Wow. Can't make this stuff up! That's why Mormon themed blogs are so fun to write.Donna Bantahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01271377907141866718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1884927711300537802.post-40079137928058588272010-08-24T23:25:11.208-07:002010-08-24T23:25:11.208-07:00Because of the home canned green beans my mother p...Because of the home canned green beans my mother put up every year, and made sure to boil till all the flavor was gone and they took on a very grey green I had no idea that green beans could be bright green. I remember the first time I ate a fresh lightly steamed green bean. I wasn't sure what vegetable it was and thought maybe it was an exotic form of asparagus. <br /><br />My mother found something even cheaper than Western Family. She would search around Utah Valley for places that sold dented cans and stuff that had been in a store fire or flood. The labels were often gone so it was anybodies guess what was inside. We didn't eat from the bulging cans, but a dent, a rust spot, even mouse droppings on top was no matter for Mom. <br /><br />One time when a local grocery store burned down she was sure she'd hit the lottery. She managed to cart home several grocery carts of various smoke stained seared label-less cans and three large 50 lb. bags of singed sugar. It had a smokey flavor but she didn't limit how much we could put on our oatmeal or Malt-o-meal faux cheereos. I never celebrated the bottom of a bag of sugar like I did when that stuff was gone. <br /><br />We didn't even get real koolaid. We were too poor for koolaid. Nope, Flavoraide. It's a lot like making a punch with the dust from the hood of your car. <br /><br />She bought pancake mix that was past it's sell by date and just picked the weevils out and I assumed that's what everyone did with pancake mix. I had no idea that tuna fish could be white like albacore. If it wasn't a nasty grey with lots of smelly water and mushed up like baby poo, it wasn't tuna fish. <br /><br />The only delicacies I still fondly remember from childhood were the bottled peaches and the real raspberry jam. Everything else just brings back so many bad memories. I left Mormonism just so I could eat better. Thats as good a reason as any.Insana Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18214411440222153155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1884927711300537802.post-64148646098005728792010-08-24T22:40:51.751-07:002010-08-24T22:40:51.751-07:00Damnit Damnit Damnit Insana D! I meant to say West...Damnit Damnit Damnit Insana D! I meant to say Western Family! Also, all good RS sisters use orange food coloring in their mac cheese. I knew that ... I did. Please don't tell the RS pres. Please!!!Donna Bantahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01271377907141866718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1884927711300537802.post-14031772822154991002010-08-24T21:12:07.599-07:002010-08-24T21:12:07.599-07:00I'm not sure I've ever heard of using jell...I'm not sure I've ever heard of using jello and cheese in the same dish but you certainly give this particular recipe a vivid graphic picture. Coagulants? That makes my stomach recoil in anticipation. <br /><br />I have a theory why Mormons have such a fondness for bad cheap processed bland food. It helps them feel like they're making huge sacrifices and therefore compensates for the sins of thinking about sex, like some sort of hair shirt or self flaggelation. If they eat enough jello with peas and carrots in it they can masturbate twice or vice versa. If they go to nine funerals and eat greasy cheezy potatos and watery ham, they can watch one porn movie. <br /><br />My mother was so good at making the Velveeta stretch that she once served what is now the infamous "Cow plop" mac and cheese dinner. She would take a glop of the Velveeta, or in really hard times, the Western Family processed cheese and put it in the pot of boiled mac noodles with some milk, margarine, and a little orange food coloring to make it look cheesier. It really just had the essence of cheese, but we thought we were eating well.<br /><br />Anyway, one night she grabbed the food coloring and poured some in and it was the green. The resulting color and sheen was spot on accurate if you were duplicating a fresh cow pie, complete with little curls and steam. She served dinner by candlelight that night.Insana Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18214411440222153155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1884927711300537802.post-14508865295999373442010-08-24T10:38:42.500-07:002010-08-24T10:38:42.500-07:00Yes, well every ward RS has one or two of those up...Yes, well every ward RS has one or two of those uppity types.Donna Bantahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01271377907141866718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1884927711300537802.post-48481709206682674042010-08-24T10:36:23.210-07:002010-08-24T10:36:23.210-07:00"Or Kraft if you want to be fancy."
I l..."Or Kraft if you want to be fancy."<br /><br />I love this!Leahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08129509609170344883noreply@blogger.com