From: Bishop Paul Zimmerman
Subject: Mother's Day Sacrament Meeting
In anticipation of the inevitable complaints about this Sunday's Mother's Day program, I remind you of a previous Sacrament Meeting under the direction of Bishop Brent Loomis, whose shocking murder remains unsolved.
Ward Business: Bishop Loomis
Sacrament Hymn: #171 With Humble Heart
Administration of the Sacrament by the Aaronic Priesthood
Youth Speaker: Brad Miller -- "Honoring my Priesthood: How I Preside Over my Mother."
Speaker: Sister Rae Ann Darcy -- "Scrapbooking is Special."
Special Musical Number: Fourth Ward Men's Choir -- See the Mighty Priesthood Gathered
Speaker: Bishop Brent Loomis -- "Dressed for Satan's Success: the effect of the feminine pantsuit on our society."
Closing Hymn: #340 The Star Spangled Banner
Benediction: Brother Renfro
***While worldly churches wallow in appreciation today, we, as members of the one and only true church, will focus on what really matters: worthiness. In that spirit, rewards will be meted out as follows:
Mothers of less than 5 children who have served missions and married in the temple: Two dozen roses.
Young mothers who are raising their children to serve missions and marry in the temple: One dozen roses.
Mothers of less valiant children: Wrist corsage.
Working and/or single moms: One carnation.
Single sisters: A dandelion.
Upon completion of the distribution of gifts, ward members are released to the Cultural Hall for a four course Mother's Day feast, prepared and served by the Relief Society.
If you would like to stop receiving these e-mails, we'll send you a dandelion.