Tuesday, September 14, 2010

This Just In: God Blew Up San Bruno

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward and the wonderful people who follow my blog
From: Donna Banta
Subject: God is speaking folks. Are you listening?

Mark and I read the following letter to the editor in yesterday's San Francisco Chronicle:

Divine judgment
First, I pray for those families who suffered in the San Bruno pipeline blast; this is a tragedy that could've been corrected with the right care being applied beforehand.

However, on a more divine level: This blast can be viewed as God's divine judgment upon San Fransicko (sic) for its ultra-leftist and anti-normal way of doing things, and for that sad excuse of a judge who overturned the will of the people in his anti-Proposition 8 ruling.

God is speaking, folks. Are you listening?


Lloyd Marshall Jr., Lockport, N.Y.


This morning Mark faxed this to the editor of the Lockport Union-Sun & Journal


Lockport Union-Sun & Journal
170 East Ave.
Lockport, N.Y. 14094
Main Phone: (716) 439-9222
Newsroom Fax: (716) 439-9239
September 13, 2010
I read with bemusement the following Letter to the Editor in the San Francisco Chronicle this morning, referring to the dreadful explosion last Thursday in San Bruno, a quiet suburb adjacent the San Francisco Airport:

Divine judgment
First, I pray for those families who suffered in the San Bruno pipeline blast; this is a tragedy that could've been corrected with the right care being applied beforehand.
However, on a more divine level: This blast can be viewed as God's divine judgment upon San Fransicko (sic) for its ultra-leftist and anti-normal way of doing things, and for that sad excuse of a judge who overturned the will of the people in his anti-Proposition 8 ruling.
God is speaking, folks. Are you listening?
Lloyd Marshall Jr., Lockport, N.Y.                                                                                    

Mr. Marshall can take some solace, I suppose, in the fact that he is not the first person to condemn San Francisco and San Franciscans for their “anti-normal” behavior.  San Francisco continues to prosper despite the condemnations regularly heaped on the City and its citizens by all sorts of pundits and religious do-gooders.

Shortly after the 1906 earthquake and fire, many clergymen condemned San Francisco, and attributed the earthquake to God’s divine retribution on a city and citizenry completely devoid of morality.  The local poet and wit Charles Kellogg Field responded with the following verse, noting that all the churches were burned down, but that the local distillery was spared the conflagration:

If, as some say, God spanked the town
For being over frisky,
Why did He burn the Churches down
And save Hotaling’s Whiskey?

God save you, Mr. Marshall, and all like-minded bigots.  We love living in San Francisco, and hope to share a pint with you whenever you visit.

Mark S. Banta, San Francisco, CA



Sigh. It never fails. Whenever a tragedy occurs, we can always rely on some narrow-minded "patriot," to offer faint sympathy for the victims, then change the subject to himself and all of the people and things he hates. Wherever they may live.

My dear friends from the Abbottsville Fourth Ward. I hope none of you share Mr. Marshall's opinion. However, I'm afraid that many of you do. So, I suggest you consider the words of Charles Kellogg Field. When Sunday rolls around, skip the church and head straight for the bar. Or, if it happens to be Fast Sunday, join the post-mormons at the San Francisco Ferry Building. Steve sets up our bunker next to Peet's Coffee.

I say this for your own safety. Because, as far as I can tell, we "San Fransicko's" won't be changing our anti-normal way of doing things anytime soon.

14 comments:

  1. i need to make it down to SF for one of these Fast Sunday get togethers if they're for real.

    gah, people and their self-effacing zealotry. you'd think by now god would just destroy SF entirely after all these years of godless liberalism instead of screw with them every so often.

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  2. Lisa, the parties are real! No fictional characters, I promise. Click above on post-mormons and you'll see. There's one coming up in Oct. -- but it conflicts with General Conference. Oh-oh, decisions decisions.

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  3. It never fails. Whenever a tragedy occurs, we can always rely on some narrow-minded "patriot," to offer faint sympathy for the victims, then change the subject to himself and all of the people and things he hates.

    Well didn't you know that 9/11 was God's punishment for letting pagans, gays, and feminists run amok??

    What really, really makes me sick is when people blame violence on everything but the real cause: poverty. It's not always the case, but wealth and social status play a big role. People blame gang violence on African Americans and 9/11 on Islam when it's kind of obvious that people living in abject poverty are usually pressured into extreme measures just to survive. And that poverty? Yeah, it's usually our fault.

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  4. Good point, Carla. Oh, and if memory serves, Jerry Falwell also blamed "abortionists" for 9/11.

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  5. If I can come down I totally will. We'll drop the kiddos off with grandma and come for a visit. But the key phrase is "if we can." With pay cuts, et. al, it's a bit hard. But I'm gonna look into it, for sure.

    As for the general conference dichotomy, perhaps we can play a drinking game while we watch? hahahahaha.

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  6. i should confess, i'm actually not that big of a drinker--but that does sound like fun :D

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  7. Yes, well, if there's ever an occasion for drinking, it's general conference! ;-) Hope to see you at the Ferry Bldg soon.

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  8. Oh, for Christ's sake ... When will fundies stop blaming victims of disasters for irritating God!? Disaster victims deserve compassion, not misguided judgements by bigots.

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  9. Ahab, you ask an excellent question for which I have only a lame answer -- Maybe when people stop being so anti-normal? Of course, the added irony is that the anti-normals he refers to live in "San Fransicko," not San Bruno.

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  10. Mark wrote a great response. Thanks for posting.

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  11. Love you guys. Miss you. We need to get together for divinely-inspired drinks, dinner, or both.

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  12. CAUTION: The following is completely tongue-in-cheek:

    If God was looking to punish San Franciscans, his/hers/its aim is a little off and should've blown up a gas line in the Presidio instead.

    Seriously, San Bruno is my hometown, and it's got some of the nicest, most Christian (even if they don't belong to a supposed Christian church) people you or I will ever meet. They most certainly didn't deserve what befell them. We need compassion and charity at this time, not condemnation.

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  13. Right on, Steve. If you ask me, old Lloyd is a taco shy of a combination plate. We lived in San Bruno many years ago and attended a ward down in Millbrae. You've got a great home town.

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