Super Special Program For The Young Women

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward Young Women's Leaders
From: JayNell Tweedy, Abbottsville Stake Young Women's President
Subject: Ideas for upcoming Standards Nights

We all agree that nothing is too good for our awesome Young Women. That's why I'm forwarding this outline for a super-special Standards Night for our girls. You'll want to start planning super super early on account of it's kind of a lot of work. But way worth it!

Invite a member of the Young Women's presidency to host the event in her living room. Remove the art from her walls and hang pictures of the different LDS temples instead. Create a five-foot high all-white floral arrangement for the room's focal point. In front of the flowers, set up a table and cover it with a white lace cloth and one of the centerpieces described below. Also, if the curtains, carpet, and walls are not white, be sure to replace and/or repaint all three, and slip-cover the furniture as well.

Standard's Night Program

Opening Song: I Love to See the Temple

Opening Prayer: by invitation

Demonstration:

Invite another member of the Young Women's presidency to present one the following analogies:

1.

(For the centerpiece: design an all white wedding bouquet out of blown sugar.)

"Imagine you're a beautiful rose plant who lets herself be picked by the first boy who comes along. Now what returned missionary will be interested in your bush?"

2.

(For the centerpiece: carve out an ice sculpture of Salt Lake's Temple Square.)

"Pretend you're a popsicle. Who do you want to be licked by? A good Mormon boy who will stick you right back in the freezer ? -- or -- Some non-member who'll take you to the park, have what he wants, then leave you in a hot and sticky mess on the grass?"

3.

(For the centerpiece: weave an all white tapestry with an inlay of President Monson's face.)

"Think of yourself as a doormat. Where would you want to get laid? In the entrance of some disreputable tavern? -- or -- In the temple where you will only be stepped on by righteous priesthood holders?"

Conclude with, "It is my prayer that each and every one of you finds a righteous LDS man to -- fertilize you -- or -- keep you frozen -- or -- walk all over you -- for time and all eternity."

Special Musical Number

Invite the Beehive, Mia Maid, and Laurel class presidencies to make and model modest wedding gowns to the tune of Circle of Our Love from Saturday's Warrior.

(The music should be played way reverently by two members of the Young Women's presidency: one on the piano and the other on another super classy instrument -- like the harp.)

Main Speaker

Invite the bishop to give a super respectful talk about all the private places a righteous Young Woman should never let a boy touch and all the things she should never let him do.


Closing Song: I Am a Child of God


Closing Prayer: by invitation


Refreshments: Handmade multi-tiered wedding cake with white chocolate ruffles and sugar orchids. Raspberry sherbet punch fountain. Nut cups. Little butter mints made from scratch.


**Be sure to send each girl home with a super cute fridge magnet made out of something way fun like shrinky dink plastic or dough art with the saying: 
"Sex outside of marriage is the sin next to murder."

If you would like to stop receiving these e-mails, we'll assume you're super selfish and way shallow.