Thursday, August 28, 2014

Actual Woman to Attend LDS Church Women's Meeting

LDS Church Leaders to Admit First Woman to Women's Meeting 
Salt Lake News -- published August 28, 2014

In yet another startling break from tradition, LDS leaders announced late Wednesday that an actual woman will be attending next month's church-wide Women's Meeting.

"The Brethren are nothing if not progressive," said church spokesperson Wilbur Burton. "They decided to test the waters. If this one behaves herself, there may be more next time."

The carefully selected candidate, Ginger Louise Bennion, is a sophomore at BYU-Idaho and serves in her ward nursery. 

"The Quorum of the Twelve sifted through thousands of resumes before settling on Sister Bennion," Burton said. "They were looking for a special kind of sister, one who possesses that delicate combination of tact, sweetness, and run-of-the-mill expectations."

While the Women's Meeting is scheduled to last 2 hours, Ms. Bennion will be excused after the first 30 minutes.

"The Brethren don't want to push it," explained Burton. "So much of what will be discussed in the Women's Meeting is too sacred to be shared with an actual sister. But she can at least hear our opening agenda."

When asked how she received this honor, Ms. Bennion replied, "I'm like, so thrilled. I mean, it's way cool to be the first and everything." And then she added archly, "This will once and for all demonstrate how much my church values women."

9 comments:

  1. The brethren better be careful! Give a woman an inch and she'll want all three (inches). I think they are playing with fire and I am very concerned for the future because, it's like, tomorrow.

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    1. Ha! Yes indeed. Or more like yesterday...

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  2. Ginger, NO! It's a trick! It's all PR! Run, run as far as your feet will take you!

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    1. I'm afraid Ginger is a prisoner of her run-of-the-mill expectations.

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  3. I hope the brethren use Ginger's time wisely by putting her in the kitchen to get the refreshments ready. She's already there and she's a woman- so what better place for her!

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    1. Right Heather. I think the article was inaccurate when it said Ginger was "excused." Rather, she was reassigned.

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  4. Before you know it, women will be allowed to bake the bread for the sacrament or change diapers in the nursery. . . oh, theye're already doing that? Never mind. The Church obviously values women.,

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