Thursday, October 8, 2015

Real Friends in the Real World

As a Mormon I was taught to avoid The Real World. It was an evil, cold, miserable place. The Church, by contrast, was loving and gentle and good - a haven of camaraderie and friendship, the only destination where men and women could find true happiness.

Only, I wasn't happy. A lot of the things I heard in church weren't loving, gentle, or good. As for friendship, all those church assignments left little time for socializing. My only friends were a couple of women who were assigned to come around and "teach" me every month. Half the time they were women I had little in common with. On the occasions I was given somebody that might grow into a friend, she was shifted to a new assignment before anything developed. With the LDS Church arranging my social life, I felt as though I was constantly following a script. Like an actress in a cheesy sitcom or creepy promotional film.

For me, there was no happiness in that Fake World.

Thank heavens I'm now a member of the Real World!

I like to say that the best thing about being a Mormon is becoming an ExMormon. It's a great community of accepting free thinkers - a place where I've found lots of real friends, not fake ones. And we've plenty of time to socialize! Take the past few weeks, for example.

First Eric and Ali flew down from Oregon. We met them, along with Steve and Sarah, at the Barrel to Bottle event in Half Moon Bay.

BYOB - and they fill it!
Then back to our house for another mythic cooking session!
Food is serious business

Eric whipping eggs into a frenzy

Blackjack supervising
Caesar Salad!
Chocolate Souffle - yum!
Then last week Bill and Dana/Insana Dee dropped by our house as part of their West Coast road trip. How lucky are we?!
Dana and I at the Moraga Steps in SF
Of course Dana had to go to the Mission District and buy a Donald Trump piñata!
Dana's just mad about The Donald!
Of course Bill posed with him!
As did Don and Scott!
Then we hooked up with Jerry and Cheryl after the ExMormon gathering at the SF Ferry Building on Sunday. Sadly, our long time watering hole, Sinbad's, is closing down so the city can build another ferry landing.
Jerry and Cheryl with Sinbad
Owner Tom Stinson in a final duel

But we'll find a new watering hole. Because there are still plenty of fun times with good friends ahead. Life is good - when you don't have to fake it.


  1. You made the right choice. You choose genuine happiness over phony LDS happiness.

  2. I love this. I had tons of friends inside the church- and none of them followed me to this side of my belief. I have very few friends now, but they're real and will be there for me no matter what.

    I love how busy you are with friends. I love it!

  3. Thanks Ahab and Heather. When it comes to friendships, quality way outweighs quantity. Sure when I was a Mormon I could always call the RS to help us out with a meal or the EQ to help us move. But if I need an understanding ear, a shoulder to cry on, or even somebody to share a laugh with, I was at a loss in that colorless community where everything was perfect.

    Loving my imperfect real world and my imperfect real friends!

  4. Donald Trump is the one true pinata friend. We had a fantastic time with you and Mark and are so happy that we got to share your lovely home and excellent navigation skills. I suspect 2/3 of San Francisco conversations and arguments are about which street to take to get to a destination.

    The sights were beyond breathtaking. In three days I have to go home and start working again but I'll have the memories and photos to last me a lifetime.

    1. Only 3 days! I'm sure you'll make the most of them. Vacations are never long enough. Great seeing you! Thanks so much for coming.

  5. Ex Mormons are some of my favorite people!

  6. I am sure glad you all made it to the real world.
    Love the pinata!

    1. Hi Jono! The piñata was made by illegals who need a creative outlet for when they break from raping and murdering. When you whack it open, hundreds of American jobs come spilling out...

      OK, I'll quit. But notice he's wearing his "Make America Great Again" cap. :)

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  8. i'm curious about that video. It seems like something that might have been shown by the missionaries back in the day. But how did they show it in homes before DVD players or even VCRs were common? The genre seems as though it would predate even VCRs. My dad said he carried around film strip projectors to the homes that had electricity on his mission, but he's never mentioned carrying a film projector, which would seem to be rather cumbersome. So did the mishies carry around bulky projectors or did missionaries expect people to show up at the church to watch this drivel? Or did I miscalculate target audience, and did the Mormons sit around watching garbage like this at Relief Society or Sunday School so they could feel good about themselves because they had the truth when everyone else didn't?

    1. Hi Alexis! Man's Search for Happiness was originally made for the LDS display at the 1964 World's Fair in NYC. After that, it was shown at the visitor's centers at Mormon temples for many years. The broken doll always creeps me out!

  9. Thank you. What a wonderfully uplifting post! You have great friends and family. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thanks NearKolobite! I wish I lived nearer to Kolob so that we could hang out.