In November San Franciscans will vote on whether tax dollars can
be spent on legacy businesses. One of those businesses is the Hotel Utah
Saloon, which has its own special legacy for local Exmormons. We've been
celebrating Utah Pioneer Day there since the turn of the century (1999).
The event
organizer is our beloved never-been-Mormon host, Jerry Vaught, also known as “Jerry
the Aspousetate” on the Recovery from Mormonism Bulletin Board. I had the pleasure
of sitting down with him this week just ahead of the 2015 Pioneer Day party.
Donna Banta:
Jerry, welcome to Ward Gossip! I'm honored that you are here.
Jerry Vaught:
I'm happy to be here, Donna
DB:
Jerry, you've been hosting the Exmormon party at the Hotel Utah Saloon every July 24th since 1999, is that correct?
JV:
I have.
DB:
Jerry, welcome to Ward Gossip! I'm honored that you are here.
Jerry Vaught:
I'm happy to be here, Donna
DB:
Jerry, you've been hosting the Exmormon party at the Hotel Utah Saloon every July 24th since 1999, is that correct?
JV:
I have.
DB:
For the sake of my readers who are still practicing Mormons, can you explain what exactly goes on at these events?
JV:
JV:
There is a lot of drinking and violating of the Word of Wisdom and loud
laughter. There’s no agenda.
DB:
No agenda? I'm afraid you may have just scared away my few believing readers.
JV:
(chuckles) I've been known to do that.
(chuckles) I've been known to do that.
DB:
It's difficult to describe how crazy and fun these parties are without citing examples. Mark and I have been attending since 2004. As you know, our annual contribution is the Joseph Smith Sphinx poster that beckons the faithful to our
hangout above the stage. One year it mysteriously disappeared. After a thorough
search, we concluded that Joseph the Sphinx had been “taken back up to heaven,” threw up our hands, and went home. The next day the bar called to report that our sphinx had somehow turned up onstage with the band later in the
evening! We drove back over to reclaim him. He’s looked a little dazed ever
since.
JV:
That Joseph was always sneaking off somewhere.
That Joseph was always sneaking off somewhere.
DB:
Indeed. What are some of your favorite Hotel Utah Saloon memories?
JV:
Well, there was the time I put up a wanted poster of Warren Jeffs and it attracted the attention of the regulars at the bar. One asked if the then fugitive was to be our featured speaker. Another year Pat Bagley from the Salt Lake Tribune dropped by and drew cartoons on our hands. Also there was the year a woman brought a giant jello mold of the Salt Lake City temple. You never know what to expect at these things.
Well, there was the time I put up a wanted poster of Warren Jeffs and it attracted the attention of the regulars at the bar. One asked if the then fugitive was to be our featured speaker. Another year Pat Bagley from the Salt Lake Tribune dropped by and drew cartoons on our hands. Also there was the year a woman brought a giant jello mold of the Salt Lake City temple. You never know what to expect at these things.
DB:
Do you ever get any active Mormons?
JV:
Yes, but not necessarily on purpose. One year a woman who happened to be at the bar that evening saw our sign and announced, "I'm a Mormon." Noticing the beer in her hand, I figured her for one of us, and invited her to join the party. She hesitated a moment, scowled, and said, "No. I have to teach Relief Society tomorrow."
DB:
Too bad she passed on your invitation. She might have gained inspiration for her lesson.
JV:
Also we sometimes get some mystery guests. Folks who don't drink or interact, but seem overly curious. And most years the bar gets a call from an anonymous person asking, "How many Exmormons are there, and what are they doing?"
DB:
Think they might be Mormon spies?
JV:
Maybe. We don't ask and they don't tell.
DB:
Jerry, as the long time dedicated host of this and two other amazing Northern California Exmormon parties, the mantle of Exmormon leadership has deservedly fallen upon your shoulders. Has this high standing in the community afforded you any spiritual or prophetic powers?
DB:
Too bad she passed on your invitation. She might have gained inspiration for her lesson.
JV:
Also we sometimes get some mystery guests. Folks who don't drink or interact, but seem overly curious. And most years the bar gets a call from an anonymous person asking, "How many Exmormons are there, and what are they doing?"
DB:
Think they might be Mormon spies?
JV:
Maybe. We don't ask and they don't tell.
DB:
Jerry, as the long time dedicated host of this and two other amazing Northern California Exmormon parties, the mantle of Exmormon leadership has deservedly fallen upon your shoulders. Has this high standing in the community afforded you any spiritual or prophetic powers?
JV:
Absolutely. I see more Exmormons in my future. Also bigger parties.
DB:
Sounds like true inspiration, Jerry. Thanks for imparting your wisdom here on Ward Gossip. Also thanks for being our host again this year.
JV:
My pleasure, Donna.
Absolutely. I see more Exmormons in my future. Also bigger parties.
DB:
Sounds like true inspiration, Jerry. Thanks for imparting your wisdom here on Ward Gossip. Also thanks for being our host again this year.
JV:
My pleasure, Donna.
One week from today!
Be there or be square!
Friday, July 24, 2015
5:30 pm
500 4th Street @ Bryant
San Francisco
415.546.6300**
**Call the bar if you get lost. Or if you're a creepy Mormon spy who wants to know what we're up to.
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