From: Donna Banta
Subject: Mother's Day at Abbottsville's Swizzle Stick Bar
Dear Sisters,
I've attached the following invitation in the hope that you will consider this far more desirable alternative to every woman's most demoralizing church meeting of the entire year.
SWIZZLE STICK MOTHER'S DAY PARTY!
Especially for Mormons
Dear Sisters,
Don't want to sit through a three hour lecture on Mother's Day?
Sick of constantly being reminded of your "sacred role?"
Tired of delighting in your husbands, waiting for your happily ever afters, turning lemons into lemonade, standing in holy places, sweetening the world one drop at a time, and blooming where you're planted?
Rather spend the Sabbath getting shit-faced?
Then ditch church this Sunday and JOIN THE PARTY
at the SWIZZLE STICK!
9:00 a.m. Bar open
12:00-2:00 p.m. Primary Songbook Karaoke
2:00-4:00 p.m. Performance by "Mutha's Who Know"
4:00-6:00 p.m. "The Stripping Warriors"
6:00 p.m. - ????? Testimony Meeting
No cover charge
$4 well drinks to include "Sex on the Tabernacle," "Dirty Moroni," and "The Wymount Babymaker"
Turn in your 4" petunia plant/limp carnation/refrigerator magnet for a free mimosa!
at the SWIZZLE STICK!
9:00 a.m. Bar open
12:00-2:00 p.m. Primary Songbook Karaoke
2:00-4:00 p.m. Performance by "Mutha's Who Know"
4:00-6:00 p.m. "The Stripping Warriors"
6:00 p.m. - ????? Testimony Meeting
No cover charge
$4 well drinks to include "Sex on the Tabernacle," "Dirty Moroni," and "The Wymount Babymaker"
Turn in your 4" petunia plant/limp carnation/refrigerator magnet for a free mimosa!
--Hope to see you there, sisters. I'll be at the bar by 9:00, wearing a gingham-checked jumper and sipping a Dirty Moroni.
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