Saturday, October 16, 2010

Super Special Tips For Stay At Home Moms

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Susan Renfro, Ward Relief Society President
Subject: Tips for SAHM's

This past Saturday the Relief Society was privileged to hear from LDS home efficiency expert, La Rae Sorenson*, whose book,  The Righteous Stay at Home Mom, tops the Deseret Book best sellers list. Here is an excerpt from her presentation.
While all LDS mothers know that the Lord expects them to stay at home, many make the mistake of believing that staying at home implies an unstructured environment, where mother drops the children off at school, then feels free to go where the day takes her. Such selfishness suggests a slovenly approach to a woman's sacred duty, invites Satan into the home, and leaves the children at risk of growing up to be drug addicts, pedifiles, convicted felons, or even worse, feminists, gays, and intellectuals.
For the sake of her family, the righteous SAHM follows a church approved schedule. Here is a typical example:
8:00: Drop children off at school.
8:00-9:00: Ward meeting house assignment -- sanitize the men's room urinals.
9:00-10:00: Visiting Teaching -- Monthly Message: The Divine Role of Women. 
10:00-11:00: Prune bottling at the Stake Cannery.
12:00: Lunch -- prunes.
12:00-1:00: Knit 2 dozen baby booties for the stake president to present to the children's hospital.
1:00-2:00: Prepare 45 tin foil dinners for the ward father-son camp-out.
2:00-3:00: Plan Relief Society Personal Enrichment lesson: Fun with Dryer Lint!
3:00: Pick up children at school.
3:00-6:00: Return to the meeting house to set up and cook for the Ward Chili Cook-off -- while simultaneously enjoying quality time with children.
6:00: Dinner -- chili.
6:00-9:00: Clean up the ward cultural hall and kitchen.
9:00: Tuck children in bed.
9:00-??: Prepare 3 tubs of prune whip for tomorrow's Elders' Quorum Social.
*Sister LaRae Sorenson is mother of nine with one on the way. She home schools, sews all of her family's clothes, cooks exclusively from scratch, cans the proceeds of her 4 acre vegetable garden, teaches Primary, works in the temple, is a stake missionary, and runs the church welfare farm. In her spare time she enjoys clipping coupons, tatting, and playing Farmtown.

This month's Use Your Food Storage recipe was contributed by Sister Zina Rowley.

Pinto Bean Fudge
1 cup pinto beans, cooked and mashed
1/2 cup cocoa powder
up to 1/4 cup evaporated milk
4 pounds sugar
1 can of Crisco
1/4 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
Melt Crisco, add in sugar until dissolved then mix in the remaining ingredients and spread onto a cookie sheet. Place in the refrigerator. Check occasionally by poking with a fork. Fudge is done when it is no longer possible to extract the fork.
Bon Appetit!
  If you would like to stop receiving these e-mails, you run the risk that your kids will grow up to be feminists, gays or intellectuals.


  1. She must have a very regular digestive system. Prunes are very nutritious.

  2. haha, prunes. doncha know the PC term is "dried plums"? Puh-lease. I should know. They hold the "dried plum" festival in our neck of the woods.

    Also, sh*t. What if you're a bit of all three? I hope it means I'm off the hook, because just reading that schedule put knots in my shoulders. A bit too close to home, thx.

    FYI, we plan to be at the Ferry Building on the 7th :) Hope to see you there!

  3. @Carla, you have a point, and she has the one and only true church to thank for her regularity. @Lisa, yay! We'll see you there!

  4. It was so good to meet you this weekend. I am loving your blog~ I had to sign up as a follower. Can't wait till your next post!

  5. Thanks Russo! It was great to meet you too. The exmo conference was awesome. I look forward to reading more of your writing as well.

  6. Yikes. Sorenson is free to live her life as she pleases, but ... isn't this a nervous breakdown waiting to happen?

  7. @Ahab . . . Only (according to the Brethren) if she "chooses to be offended." ;)

  8. Slight oversight. LaRae claims to home school her children but then drops them off and picks them up from school. Either she's a liar or someone messed up. That pinto bean fudge sounds absolutely Delicious!! Who knew that chocolate and beans were so compatable?

    I think "Sundays in the Mormon Church" or "Mothers Day" might be right up La Rae's alley.

  9. Ha! Insana D, you're right. Sister La Rae doesn't drop off the kids -- and any good Mormon mom would take the children along to all of those important activities!

  10. My husband wants to know when a righteous SAHM honors the Lord by replenishing the Earth?