From: Donna Banta
Subject: We would indeed be remiss if . . .
My dear friends from the Abbottsville Fourth Ward,
Just because we're ex-Mormons doesn't mean we don't have testimonies. After all, it takes a village/ward to raise an ex-Mormon. In that spirit, we gather every first Sunday to express our gratitude for the people and circumstances that helped us to see the light.
This month our thanks went out to:
The San Francisco Ferry Building and its myriad venues for breaking the fast, the Sabbath, and the Word of Wisdom.
- The highly respected and well educated Southern California attorney who spends his free time computing the diameter of the planet Kolob.
- The older sibling who was expected to be President of the United States, but ended up becoming a polygamist who makes his living filling gumball machines.
- The TBM dad who told his inactive daughter that he would receive her in his home if she promised not to criticize or question the church, voice an opinion, or discuss her life in general.
- The TBM ex-wife who tried to convince a Virginia judge that her children's father is unfit because he only spends one hour in church on Sunday.
- A certain "Apostle of the Lord" who is terrified of feminists, gays, intellectuals, kittens, and little factories that produce too much product.
- The balding Seattle Stake President who referred to himself as a Solar Powered Sex Machine during a Stake High Council Meeting.
|Thank god for anti-Mormon|
Wedding receptions where both the bride and the mother of the bride are pregnant.
The countless Sacrament Meeting talks about tithing, temple work, and moral ambiguities such as hot chocolate and coffee cake.
|The spirit was sooo strong!|
If we have offended any of you -- or have forgotten to thank someone, kindly share your testimony in the comment field.