Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Musings From The Mission Field

To: abbottsville fourth ward
From: elder young, france paris mission
Subject: bon jour from the mission field!!!!

hey abbottsville fourth!!!!

first off, thanks all of you for your letters and care packages, especially the ones with the rice krispy treats and chocolate covered corn nuts!! my comp says i have the best ward ever!!!        :-))))

we were bummed this morning when we learnt that Mademoiselle Fusee had another run in with the vice squad and can't be baptized until september. but then my comp reminded me again that we were in gay par-ee, and we should be gay!!! hahaha (btw, i totally knew that by gay he meant happy, and he knew i knew that btw.) hahaha :-)))) lol lol lol

so we put on our happy faces and walked over to the rodin sculpture garden. It was scary at first because all we saw were super worldly people ogling at these enormous naked statues. =-o 

we bowed our heads and asked Heavenly Father what to do. then at his suggestion we hid behind the famous thinker statue and when somebody walked up, we jumped out and said: 

"thinking about finding the one and only true church?!!!"
get it? thinking???? it worked too, that is until this prideful lady tour guide told us to leave. we said we didn't have to and she said we did and we said we didn't so she left then came back dragging a garden hose with one of those high powered nozzles and blasted us. as messangers of the one and only true church, comp and i are used to being persacuted, so instead of running away we did an adorable little water ballet while singing "jesus wants me for a sunbeam." :-))))) hahahaha

only then the gendarmes arrived and told us to leave. we told them we didn't have to b/c Heavenly Father said. then they told us we were under arrest and we said they couldn't arrest us b/c we worked for God and they only worked for france. then they pointed their guns at our faces and we ran. 

they ran too, and all of the sudden we were in this super cool chase scene like the one in that classic old movie Bullet. only we were on foot. also we were wearing name tags and carrying book of mormons, which made us way cooler than steve mcqueen. we ran down the rue varelle, over rue da bach, across the punt royale, and the into the jardine de tweeteries where we escaped by diving into one of those geometric shaped shrubbery thingies. :-))))))))
we were kind of bummed after that b/c we really thought we were on to something with that whole thinker thing. then it came to us, in paris the thinkers hang out in the cafes where they gather in little salons and talk about episiotomies and notetics, and other way cerebral stuff. So we decided to form our own salon, only instead of discussing the works of balzac or hemingway or flowbare, we would discuss the deepest most intellectual work of all time: the book of mormon!!! :-)))))))

we went to the nearest cafe, found us a table that hadn't been cleared yet, pulled some nutella out of comp's backpack (it's this stuff that's just like peanut butter only chocolate) and began spreading it on some bread that was left over one of the plates. then i stood on a chair, held up the book of mormon and shouted:

"my fellow parisians, comp and i invite you to join in a discussion of the most profoundly psychiatric work of all time. also help yourself to a super-yummy nutella thingy."

people started booing and telling us to leave, but we said we wouldn't leave until they heard our message, and they said they didn't want to hear our message, and we told them they were being prideful, and they shouted a bunch of words we never learnt at the mtc. then a man stood up and motioned to the crowd to be silent. he wore a red and white horizontally striped shirt and had a white scarf tied around his neck. also he had salt and pepper hair, soulful brown eyes and just the right amount of stubble on his face. can you picture him? if you can, than you must know what immediately popped into my mind. 
you got it! future elders' quorum president!!!!:-)))))

he said: "i am not, too prideful, as you say."

we said: "what is your name, sir?"

he said: "you may call me d'artagnan."

we said: "monsieur d'artagnan, please sit down and hear our message."

he said: "let's go to my flat instead."

we said: "sure!" and followed him down the street. then we said: "sir if there was a living prophet on the earth today you'd like to know about him, wouldn't you?"

he said: "is it this prophet who told you to dress and wear your hair that way?"

we said: "as a matter of fact, yes!"

he said: "is it because of him that you go into nice restaurants and offer people nutella thingies?"

we said: "right again," and followed him down the stairs to the metro station.

he said: "then by all means, tell me where this man lives. i know many people who would like to pay him a visit."

we could barely contain our enthusiasm when we hopped onto the train. then the doors closed and we saw d'artagnan standing  on the platform making a gesture that in america is considered profane, but here in france only means good-bye. -- it's one of the first things they taught us at the mtc. :-)))))) hahahaha

so as you can see, comp and i are working as hard as we can to save france from satan's evil grip. please keep sending care packages, it takes a lot to sustain our testimonies. also we've run out of nutella. hahaha :-)))) lol lol lol 

love to all of you :-))))

elder young

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  1. "...we did an adorable little water ballet while singing "jesus wants me for a sunbeam."

    Must ... refrain ... from making ... fey joke!

    If they've been sustaining themselves on rice krispie treats, chocolate covered corn nuts, nutella, and bread, they should really get tested for diabetes. Just sayin'.

  2. Ahab, I think these guys may be capable of giving people diabetes.

  3. George Clooney looks a little like ... Satan ... in that photo. I've never really been a fan but ...

    It's a good thing Mo missionaries are too naive and clueless to know how dorky they can be. Poor kids.

  4. CD, also sad that they spend 2 years in different country or new place and spend it plugging the church.

  5. Does anyone ever come back from their mission an apostate? I'm just curious about that.

  6. Paul, absolutely. My husband left for his mission as a true believer bent on saving the souls of Indonesians. He returned as an atheist bent on making the earth a better place to live. I know many who have left their missions early as well. But the majority come home thoroughly indoctrinated I'm afraid.