Thursday, October 11, 2012

Musings From The Mission Field: I Was Way Ready At 18

To: abbottsville fourth ward
From: elder young, france paris mission
Subject: the new mission ages are true!

dear abbottsville fourth,

It was one of those times when you'll always remember where you were when you heard. Like the moon landing or when we captured bin laden or when the monica lewinsky story broke.

last saturday President Monson changed the age of full time missionaries from 19 to 18 for men, and from 21 to 19 for girls and cut their preparation time in the missionary training center.

and where were comp and i? 
sitting in the church on rue st. merri. 

and what did we do when the news broke? 
me, comp and all the other elders lept in the air, gave each other high 5's, ran out onto the rue st. merri and did a little happy dance all the way to the george pompidoo center and back. WOO HOO!
:-)))))))))))))))) hahahahahaha

only after that we were kind of bummed because that horse faced sister missionary and some other old maids were acting all bossy and prideful and saying that 18 was too young for us guys to go on missions and that we needed more not less training. :-(((((((

shows you how much THEY know. we're talking about lds priesthood holders here!!!! they're more than ready to serve at 18. heaven knows I was. and anywho, if an occasional elder is a little on the greenish side, he'll have seasoned elders like good old comp and me to raise him up to our level of spiritual maturity. :-))))))))

also missionaries need less not more training. take comp and me. we spent way too much time learning french. every time we try to talk to parisians in french all they do is shout back a bunch of words we weren't allowed to translate at the MTC. what good is that.???

all a missionary really needs to learn at the MTC is some unique door approaches, clever comebacks to all of satan's arguments, a commitment to "never take no for an answer," a little jujitsu, some basic escape and evasion tactics, and the ability to run like heck at a moment's notice. voila! hahahaha :-))))))))))))))

so take that sister horse face and all you other miss bossy pantses. face it, what's really bothering you is that the new 19 year old sister missionaries are going to be way hotter than any of you and when you get back home youll all be in your mid-twenties and too over the hill and fat and prideful to get dates. SO THERE! :-PPPPP

thanks again for all the care packages, especially sister renfro's coconut filled mud balls. please send more. it takes alot to sustain our testimonies! :-))))))))

love, elder young

If you would like to stop receiving these emails, we suggest you learn some basic escape and evasion tactics.

10 comments:

  1. You know, as a post-mo, I think this age change will be good. :) Although I do need to brush up on my basic escape and evasion tactics!

    I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to leave all those misspellings in - does your head want to explode?

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  2. What's really frustrating is that the spell check keeps trying to stifle elder young's creativity! ;))))))

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  3. "what's really bothering you is that the new 19 year old sister missionaries are going to be way hotter than any of you and when you get back home youll all be in your mid-twenties and too over the hill and fat and prideful to get dates."

    I think he'll discover that the coconut-filled mud ball packages will now come to an abrupt end with that attitude.

    By the way, what does Elder Young look like? He must be husky after eating all the sweets in those care packages.

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  4. Hahaha, Ahab. I think elder young burns off all the calories by running away from all the people he annoys. :)))))

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  5. I somewhat like this Elder Young guy. if he'd been one of the two missionaries who had knocked on my grandparents' door in south Florida in the 1970's, the entire family might have been spared the whole LDS experience.

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  6. LOL Good point AlexisAR. In a way he is saving France...

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  7. Who knows? Maybe this age reduction will end up being a good thing? I tended to be a lot more free-thinking when I was younger, more open-minded than I was after years of religious conditioning. Here's hoping this new revelation backfires on the cult. :-))))))

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  8. "what's really bothering you is that the new 19 year old sister missionaries are going to be way hotter than any of you" hahahahahaha!!!! So sad, but you captured how a 19yo boy thinks dead on.

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  9. And now they'll be 18 yo's!!! :-)))))))))

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