Friday, December 7, 2012

Mormons And Gays

To: Abbottsville Stake
From: Mitchell Knightly, President of the Abbottsville Stake
Subject: The Church reaches out to gays and lesbians

Recently the Brethren made the following statement regarding our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters:

The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex issue for the LDS Church. That is because we have long held the position that homosexuality is a vile and unnatural orientation. Only we can't really say so anymore because when we do people call us prejudiced and sometimes even quit attending church.
In that spirit, we reach out to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. We understand that many of you may not have chosen to become gay. But even if Heavenly Father accidentally gave you this so-called tendency, He certainly didn't intend for you to act upon it. We know this is difficult for you, our dear "unique" brothers and sisters. But here's the good news: if you remain either celibate or in a completely unsatisfying heterosexual marriage, after you die there's a good chance that you will be resurrected as a normal person. 
Be strong, be stedfast, and remember you are not alone. The same is true for our brothers and sisters who are kleptomaniacs or serial killers or would-be sex traffickers. They must also abstain.
But the bottom line is, we love all of you, and from here on we intend to be nice to you. As long as you are doing your best to pretend that you're not gay, you don't have to feel too guilty about it, probably shouldn't commit suicide, ought to come out to church, and definitely need to keep paying your tithing.
In conclusion, this is not a change in the LDS Church's policy on gays and lesbians. We have always believed this, just as we have always believed that Blacks are equal and that marriage is between one man and one woman. This policy will continue to be our long standing position until it is replaced by a new policy that again represents what we have always believed.
For more information go to mormonsandgays.org 
If you would like to stop receiving these emails we encourage you not to act upon it.

ALSO--Check out this new 5 star review for The Girls From Fourth Ward by Bishop Flatlander!

16 comments:

  1. Timely! I'll admit that I'm ambivalent about the whole Mormon outreach to LGBTQ persons. While it sounds nice, if they're not changing any fundamental LDS beliefs or policies on LGBTQ persons, what's the point? It seems like window dressing.

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  2. It seems to be aimed church members to encourage them to be "nice" to gays. Sad that they're saying this now.

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  3. As I read this again the more I'm thinking it must be a total spoof; but hilarious nonetheless...

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  4. @TheJongler - satire is my forte. :)

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  5. This was brilliant, Donna, especially the line "probably shouldn't commit suicide" and the closing line about the longstanding position. Great stuff!

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  6. Great post Donna! You word things so well. -Ali

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  7. Whichever way the wind blows as long as the tithes keep coming in.

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  8. You got that right. In spite of their disapproval, the Mormon leaders don't seem to mind taking money from gays, feminists and intellectuals.

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  9. If you would welcome LGBT people in your ward, please join my Facebook event, Sit With Me Sunday.

    https://www.facebook.com/events/506104906068806/528818607130769/?notif_t=event_mall_reply

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  10. That is the most concise and accurate description of the current stance on gays that I've seen. Brava!

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  11. Until they change their stance, that is!

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  12. Thanks pinkhedgehog! I have great material. ;)

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