If you run into any rank and file Mormons tonight, hold back on the tricks and give them extra treats. They've had a very scary month.
First there was the weeklong requisite "I'm a Mormon!" on their social media profiles. After that, the mind-numbing semi-annual General Conference. Next came a mandatory ticket purchase for the feature length infomercial, Meet the Mormons. Then last week: the double whammy. A flimsy defense of Joseph Smith's relations with 14-year-olds and married women. AND … get this, Gentle Readers ... a commercial about their underwear.
I'm not kidding. Their underwear. If you don't believe me, check it out here.
Please tell me this isn't going to lead to another mass profile picture switch.
I admit, this latest string of events has been a gift for bloggers like me. For several weeks now, Mormon Inc. has written the satire for me, and for that I thank them. But, really, how much humiliation can the poor faithful endure?
The new Mormon Newsroom video's central premise is that devout Mormons are just like the orthodox of other faiths, namely Roman Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists who also wear ceremonial and symbolic clothing.
-- Perhaps. But there's at least one glaring difference between these ancient religious cultures and the Mormons. There aren't any Madison Avenue-style commercials defending the nuns' habits - Jewish prayer shawls - Muslim skull caps - Buddhist saffron robes. The participants simply wear them. Without apology and without obsessing over what others think. --
The video then concludes in classic LDS fashion. With a blatant lie. In this case, the claim that there is nothing "magical or mystical" about the temple garment.
-- Bulls**t! If I had a dollar for every faith-promoting story I've heard about garments protecting someone in a fire, I'd be a rich woman. And I always got dirty looks when I pointed out that they're flame retardant. No way. It was those magic symbols that saved poor Brother Schmuck's bacon! --
So, if you run into some rank and file Mormons today, be especially nice. Their leaders just used their tithing money to splash pictures of their underwear all over the Internet.
The fact is the Mormons are persecuted, but not by outsiders. By their own leaders.
For the few devout who read this blog, if it's any consolation, there may be a lot of San Franciscans wearing some ceremonial underpants of our own following Wednesday night's game. Check it out here.
Finally, there's more scary news breaking today. Kate Kelly just learned her appeal has been denied. Read more here.
Happy Halloween!
Friday, October 31, 2014
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Is it really a surprise that Kate Kelly's appeal was denied? I think she scare the hell out of the brethren. BTW, this is Bill, Insana Dee's husband, posting. I love your blog Donna.
ReplyDeleteHi Bill! No it's no surprise, not even to her. Funny that they think she's so scary, though. Thanks for reading my blog!
DeleteDonna, it's just going to get worse! I was on Hulu and saw a trailer for an upcoming movie called Missionary in which a deranged Elder has an affair with one of his potential converts, and when spurned terrorizes a family. I anticipate the tizzy! Here's the trailer: http://www.hulu.com/watch/693968#i-1,p0,d2
ReplyDeleteOMG! I just watched that. I can see the persecution complex inflating as I type! And people think my books are negative. Honestly, all religions have their critics, get their share of teasing, etc. But woe is me when it's the Mormons.
DeleteThey are losing so many and are obviously desperate for new recruits. Fruckin' hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThis apparently happened after the Mormon underwear infomercial: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=blood+atonement+barbie&qpvt=blood+atonement+barbie&FORM=IGRE#view=detail&id=4ADDB0C45A85A99448B5FC5802119AE7681D58F6&selectedIndex=0
Yes, the desperation is painfully obvious. Hysterically funny link!
Deletei think i mentioned that my new Godson was born jst after midnight on 10/31, making him a Halloween baby. i went out and bought a really comfy preemie size 9he's a big preemie at 5 lbs 6 oz, but he's stilll tiny as babies go) onesie that is a little lion suit, so he got to wear it for his first halloween. staff put candy in our plastic pumpkin candy holders of all the babies in the hospital on Halloween so their parents could eat it. My little guy's mom had a c-section with some reparative abdominal walll surgery due to adhesions form past surgeries, so she casn't havre anything rembling candy until maybe Monday, but her husband offered to go out and but whatever candy sounded good to her at that time, even if it's 20 different kinds. The rest of us ate the candy.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite worried because a young lDs woman (a real sweetheart in this case, as is her husband, both of whom just happened to be born Mormon) whom i know only marginally because my dad was at BYU when her parents were, was supposed to have delivered twins over three weeks ago. there's nothing on her blog or on fB. I'm really hoping she's just too swamped to mess with social media and that everything is OK. With twins, there's more than double the chance that something could have gone wrong. i have her number even though we don't know each other well, but i don't dare call and ask, or even post anything. even though the resrt of the family is in Utah and elsewhere, this youn g cuple is in our nek of the woods. I'm so hoping that she's merely overwhelemd with the new mother thing times two and that nothing else has interfered. Sooner or later if something is wrong my parents will here something through the rumor mill, but they don't want to start rumors by asking questions. god, i hope everything is oK. this little couple was so excitedly looking forward to the birth of their little twins. Please join my in prayers, positive thoughs, or anything else on behalf of this young couple, lDS or not, although my assumption is that wwhatever has happened -- good or bad -- has long sice happened since she was to be induced weeks ago. i don't understand why they were inducing a mother of twins. aren't they supposed to proceed with a c-section anytime it's safer for mother or babies, and with all those limbs and cords potentially to be tangled, surely a c-section would have been safer.
Hi Alexis. Congratulations on the new godson! How cute that you got him the lion suit.
DeleteI will be thinking about your LDS friends and hoping that they're just overwhelmed. Twins can certainly do that to a couple.
Still haven't hear anything. Aunt Jillian, who slightly knew the gitl from college because they had a couke of ed. classes together, , PMed the young woman's father through Facebook to as diplomatocally as she could inquire as to how things were. She hopes she didn't intrude, but she told the girl's father that if the message was considered intrusive or offensive in any way, to please delete and ignore it and she would not contact the family again.
Delete