Still Earning Her MRS Degree

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Ruthie Renfro
Subject: Still doing my darndest at BYU-I

Dear Abbottsville Fourth Ward,

Golly I just don't know how I can ever thank you for fasting as a ward and then pooling your hard earned savings together to buy me the most awesome Christmas present ever!!! Gosh Abbottsville Fourth, you're the best. And thanks to you, I'm going to do my double-darndest to earn that MRS degree!

The staff at the Rexburg NewYou! were way cool, and my cosmetic surgeon, Dr. Moroni Tanner, is Idaho's leading expert on silicone implants--making him a household name to all of the sisters in Rexburg's tri-stake area Relief Society! And boy can I testify to you, he is truly an artiste. Your money has been well spent!

I'm back to full recovery now and am armed with a closetful of tight sweaters. I can't wait to take my new girls out for a spin. And guess what, A-4--I've got a date this weekend! WOO-HOO! I haven't met him yet, but his name is Tony and he's a friend of my roommate Suz, and he agreed to go out with me in exchange for Suz letting him off the hook for that money he owes her. In return I'm letting Suz borrow my new sweaters. Hey, can I make a deal or what?

But don't worry, A-4, your Ruthie isn't taking anything for granted. I know my last days are fast approaching. I also know that I have a super special opportunity now to snatch a man while all the 19-year-old girls are on their missions! I still cook for 7 different guys' apartments, do housekeeping for 5, and iron for all of the RM's I can rip the shirts off of.

You came through for me and I'm going to come through for you! Hopefully in 2014 I'll have grown out of the sweaters, and will need to buy some nursing bras. ;-)

Love,
Ruthie Renfro

P.S. Turns out I flunked Logic. Which means it may take even longer for me to graduate! Tee-hee.

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Earning Her MRS Degree

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Ruthie Renfro
Subject: Doing my darndest at BYU-I

Dear Abbottsville Fourth,

So it's Summer Session before my senior year at BYU-Idaho, and I know what you all are thinking: When's our Ruthie going to get her MRS? Golly, I wish I knew! All I can say is I'm doing my darndest!!

For starters, I'm taking, Economics, Algebra, Linguistics, Geography, and Logic.

...Now, I know what you're thinking, A-4, what's our dum-dum Ruthie doing with that schedule? Actually my reasoning is super smart. In every one of those classes, I'm the only girl in the lecture hall! Tee-hee! I'm joining as many sturdy groups as possible. ;-)

Also, I cook for 7 different guys' apartments, do housekeeping for 5, and iron for all the RM's I can rip the shirts off of. Unfortunately, 9 of the 27 missionaries I was writing have returned, but I keep a weekly correspondence with the remaining 18. Of course, all of this activity makes it hard to keep my grades up. But that might be a good thing. The more classes I flunk, the longer my senior year drags out!! ;-)

Speaking of those 9 missionaries who recently returned, 1 of them still isn't engaged!! Don't worry A-4, I'm on it! I just asked him to this Saturday's dance!! Oh, and guys, check out how I did it. First I sent him a super fancy invitation I handmade out of construction paper, pipe cleaners, and glitter. Then I sent him an e-vite. Then I blew up a life-sized cardboard cutout of me all decked out like Lady Gaga emerging from an egg (only modestly dressed, of course), snuck it into his room, and rigged it to play my voice singing "Don't be a drag -- let me be your queen" the minute he walked in the door. Then, just to be sure I got his attention, I spelled out "Dance Me" on his car windshield in unscrewed Oreos. Now I'm posting PLEASE SAY YES!! on his Facebook wall every 10 minutes until I hear back from him. I hope that covers my bases. Ordinarily it would, but it's senior year, and I can't leave any stone unturned! Better start tweeting him too.

Needless to say, I'm doing everything I can to make you proud A-4. The last thing I want is to embarrass or let you down. Also, it's super important to me to be an example to the Young Women. For one thing, I am happy to be the first female at BYU-I to take Logic!!!

I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of your prayers and e-mails. And that ward fast you held to help me with my weight loss is really working! As of this morning, I'm down 1 1/2 pounds!! With any luck, I'll slim down even more. -- Then maybe this time next year, I'll be filling up some maternity clothes!! ;-)

Keep praying for me guys!
Ruthie

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