Don't Just Sit There, Stand For Something!

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Ward Mission Leader, H. LaVar Turley
Subject: Overcoming excuses about missionary work

When it comes to doing member missionary work, excuses can abound. Here are some common excuses and tips to overcome them:

1. I'm no scriptorian: No problem! Suppose your friend asks, "Where in the Bible does it say anything about Joseph Smith?" -- or -- "Why did Joseph Smith marry other men's wives?" -- or -- "Why didn't blacks get the priesthood until 1978?" A scholar would have a heck of a time answering those questions. But you won't! Fact is, the best representatives of the LDS Church are those who are armed with as little information as possible. So rather than bother with a bunch of boring research, realize the strength of your position, shake off your friend's silly questions, and invite him out to the next super yummy pot luck.

2. I can't risk a friendship: Some think that talking about religion may ruin a friendship. True friends respect the things we believe. They may not agree, but that doesn't mean they mind being preached at, shown the error of their ways, and called to repentance. Anyone who objects to that is not a true friend, and anyway, why would you even have a non-member friend in the first place?

3. My neighbors have already heard it: That may be, but the Lord prepares people in their circumstance, not just their location. Who knows? Since you last talked, your neighbor may have lost a loved one, been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, caught his wife in bed with his business partner, or suffered some other calamity that has left him so confused and vulnerable he'll sign on to any crazy scheme you throw his way. Now's your chance!

4. My house is -- fill in the blank -- a mess, noisy, not conducive to the Spirit:  Elder Ballard said,

"Creating a gospel-sharing home means inviting our friends and neighbors into the ongoing flow of family and church activities." 

A few months ago, we invited our neighbors over to enjoy some of my wife's famous nut loaf, along with our everyday  family camaraderie. Our eldest Tommy spent the better part of evening in the shower, moaning. Tessie had just started her period, and banged on the bathroom door until he finally dried off and let her in. Timmy magnified his calling as future missionary by lecturing the Mayfields about all the wine bottles he's seen in their recycle. As usual, Teddy sat around and did nothing. But that little rascal, Toby, caused a flurry of joyous pandemonium when he snuck into the garage, got a hold of my chainsaw, and started to slice the coffee table in half. Meanwhile Terry entertained everybody with adorable questions like, "Why are Mrs. Smith's ankles so fat?" and "Why is that noise always coming out of Mr. and Mrs. Mayfield's bedroom window?" Suffice to say, we had a great time, nobody was seriously injured, and our neighbors were able to see what we stand for in the natural flow of being in our home.

Finally, the most common excuse church members use for avoiding missionary work is:

5. I'm afraid: Fair enough. I can understand that. The first time I had sex with my wife I was terrified. Now . . . I still am. But I don't let fear stop me and neither should you!

The church is true!

If you would like to stop receiving these e-mails, we'll send Sister Turley over to scare the crap out of you.