Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Celebrating The Season -- Mormon Style

Note to my dear Readers: this post was originally published on December 15, 2009 when the only people reading my blog were either family members or people who owed me money. I trotted it out for a second run in the hope that more might enjoy it, also so I could have a little break to eat, drink, be merry, and hopefully gain some inspiration. Enjoy and happy holidays!

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Ward Activities Committee
Subject: Holiday Calendar

As Christmas approaches, we remind all in the ward to honor our Savior by attending the following:

Saturday, December 19, 7:00 PM, Ward Meeting House. Relief Society Craft Extravaganza. Sisters will make Palmyra nativity scenes and Angel Moroni tree toppers.

Sunday, December 20, 7:00 PM, Stake Center. Living Creche. President Knightly will portray Joseph Smith.

Monday, December 21, 1:00 PM, Ward Meeting House. Primary Christmas Party. The children will write letters to Joseph Smith, then decorate hat and peep stone cookies.

Tuesday, December 22, 7:00 PM, Ward Meeting House. Screening of It's a Wonderful Life--LDS version. Courtesy of Provo based Moral Movies, Inc., the name of Jimmy Stewart's character has been changed from George Bailey to Joseph Smith.

Wednesday, December 23, 7:00 PM, Ward Meeting House. Holiday Pot Luck. After dinner there will be a special visit from "Joseph and his Elves." (Played by Bishop Z and the Beehive class.)

Thursday, December 24, 7:00 PM. Priesthood-only viewing of church produced, The Passion of the Joseph. Rated X for historical accuracy.

Friday, December 25, 7:00 AM. The stake sing-along of Handel's The Joseph.

Also remember to donate generously to the Joseph Smith Annual Giving Fund, benefiting the protection of traditional marriage.

'Tis the Season!

If you want to stop receiving these e-mails, contact the ward financial clerk and have your credit card handy.


  1. Decorating hat and peep stone cookies? Rated X for historical accuracy? Finally. A church I can believe in. ; )

  2. Hmmmm. I'll bet "The Passion of the Joseph" film was VERY historically accurate!

    :: cue sleazy guitar music ::

  3. @CD and Ahab, "The Passion of the Joseph" is way more interesting than Mel Gibson's version. :)

  4. The Grinch had better be quick if he wants to steal Christmas before the Church gets it!

    Glad you re-published that, Donna!

  5. Thanks, Paul. Hugs to you and yours.

  6. I am interested in the peep stone cookie recipe. They sound delicious!

    And the angel Moroni tree topper...is it complicated? I'm crafty but don't sew...

    What a damn fun ward this is!!!!!!!

  7. @Heather, the angel Moroni tree topper is extremely complicated. It requires advanced glue gun skills. ;)

  8. Donna, this absolutely has nothing to do with your post, except that an amazing thought -- a simply amazing thought -- came to me at the very moment I was clicking on "Ward Gossip" to come here.

    The Lord, Donna... The Lord wants me to re-design Mormon underwear! He wants me to update them for the 21st Century. I am sure of it! Why else would I have had such a thought? It must be the Lord Himself is calling me!

    I feel so humble.

  9. OMG Paul, I just read this and am totally feeling the spirit. You are precisely the person the Lord wants to design his underwear!

  10. Please pray for me, Donna. Please pray that I might prove worthy of being chosen.

  11. LOL, I'll do my best, Paul, but the Lord and I aren't on the best of terms. That being said, I do KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of my being, that you are the Lord's new tailor. Can't wait to see the results.

  12. Paul -- The Lord told me that the new Mormon underware should have loud tiger stripes. Think you can manage?

  13. ::clasps hands and looks piously skyward::

    Tiger stripes? Loud? The Lord moves in mysterious ways, Ahab. You and I must accept your revelation, for it is not ours to reason why, but merely to sew and dye.

  14. Tiger stripes definitely. Also faux feathers.

  15. Awesome Paul. Can't wait to see your new Spring collection.