Thursday, June 7, 2012

The San Francisco Postmormons Are True!

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Donna Banta
Subject: F&T at the Ferry Building

Just so you know, Abbottsville Fourth, while you were in your stuffy chapel last Sunday declaring the church is true, apologizing to anyone you may have offended, and promising yourselves you wouldn't cry, I was at the San Francisco Ferry Building having TOO MUCH FUN!! So there.

This month there was a surprise party for me! -- In honor of my new book which is now available as both a paperback and as an ebook.

Blurriness due to copious amount of champagne consumed by photographer.
But we didn't just talk books. We moved on to more important matters: Crazy Idaho liquor laws, which of course led to our favorite subject  ... The Next Party!

Our last big do was held at my house -- the ideal environment for a General Conference pot luck.

However next time we're gathering at the hip and happening home of Steve and Sarah -- the ideal environment for (what else) an LDS themed COCKTAIL PARTY! That's right, Abbottsville Fourth, and not the kind you like to throw. Potential concoctions for Steve, our expert mixologist:

Sex on the Tabernacle
Choose the Rye
Wymount Babymaker
Laying on of Hands
Cosmo's Politan
Rum & Kolob
Screwed Wifer
Dirty Moroni
Sexy Garments
Sin and Tonic

Got a good recipe? Kindly leave it in the comment field. -- And Abbottsville Fourth, next month please come to the Ferry Building! (You know you want to.)


  1. Okay, here are some of my drink idea names:


    Nephite Nightcap


    Mountain Meadows Bloody Mary

    Bloody Atonement Mary

    We Will Go Down Dublin Mudslide

    Also, we need some kind of ominous name for a kalhua & cream, which is doubly evil because it has both alcohol and coffee (well, coffee liqueur). Maybe "Ticket to Outer Darkness"?

  2. Ahab, those are all keepers - are you sure you're not an ex-Mormon? Bloody Mountain Meadows. Can't believe we missed that one. -snort-

  3. Choose the rye, when a choice is placed before you. Indeed.

    How about a Parochial, instead of a Cosmopolitan?

    Mormon Mule

    Utah Libre

  4. @Diana, the melody to "Choose the Rye" is now playing and replaying in my head. lol

  5. What exactly does it mean to "choose the rye"? Does it have something to do with sandwiches?

  6. Could be, Ahab. Now I'm singing, "Choose the Rye when the menu's placed before you..."

  7. Ahab, there's a hymn called "Choose the Right." For my part I don't often choose the rye (I prefer other types of whiskey) but I do love me some rye bread and I rarely choose the right these days.

  8. I dunno...I stick to beer otherwise I get sloppy. You that's when you (I) say brilliant things like, "mmm, your hair smells good (then I puke)."

    Congrats buddy,


  9. @Kris, mixing alcoholic metaphors is a no-no for me too. For you we'll stock some "Pay Lay Ale."

    Mmm your hair smells good -- puke. Hilarious.

  10. Those are intriguing and very clever. Why don't we make an ex-Mormon ward recipe book for unholy drinks?

    Now I must brainstorm:

    Killing the Rabbit Lager
    Sex On the Bishop
    Hot Molly
    It Came to Pass Stout
    Liquid Jesus Jammies Remover
    Pondered Wine
    Bow Your Head and Say F*** Me IPA

  11. hahahaha Cocktails are so hip right now! It's sure to be a bestseller--Liquid Jesus Jammies Remover. Love it!