Friday, July 17, 2015

My Interview with Jerry the Aspousetate

In November San Franciscans will vote on whether tax dollars can be spent on legacy businesses. One of those businesses is the Hotel Utah Saloon, which has its own special legacy for local Exmormons. We've been celebrating Utah Pioneer Day there since the turn of the century (1999).
The event organizer is our beloved never-been-Mormon host, Jerry Vaught, also known as “Jerry the Aspousetate” on the Recovery from Mormonism Bulletin Board. I had the pleasure of sitting down with him this week just ahead of the 2015 Pioneer Day party.

Donna Banta:
Jerry, welcome to Ward Gossip! I'm honored that you are here.

Jerry Vaught:
I'm happy to be here, Donna

DB:
Jerry, you've been hosting the Exmormon party at the Hotel Utah Saloon every July 24th since 1999, is that correct?

JV:
I have.

DB: 
For the sake of my readers who are still practicing Mormons, can you explain what exactly goes on at these events?

JV:
There is a lot of drinking and violating of the Word of Wisdom and loud laughter. There’s no agenda.

DB:
No agenda? I'm afraid you may have just scared away my few believing readers.

JV: 
(chuckles) I've been known to do that.

DB:
It's difficult to describe how crazy and fun these parties are without citing examples. Mark and I have been attending since 2004. As you know, our annual contribution is the Joseph Smith Sphinx poster that beckons the faithful to our hangout above the stage. One year it mysteriously disappeared. After a thorough search, we concluded that Joseph the Sphinx had been “taken back up to heaven,” threw up our hands, and went home. The next day the bar called to report that our sphinx had somehow turned up onstage with the band later in the evening! We drove back over to reclaim him. He’s looked a little dazed ever since.
JV:
That Joseph was always sneaking off somewhere.

DB:
Indeed. What are some of your favorite Hotel Utah Saloon memories?

JV:
Well, there was the time I put up a wanted poster of Warren Jeffs and it attracted the attention of the regulars at the bar. One asked if the then fugitive was to be our featured speaker. Another year Pat Bagley from the Salt Lake Tribune dropped by and drew cartoons on our hands. Also there was the year a woman brought a giant jello mold of the Salt Lake City temple. You never know what to expect at these things.

DB:
Do you ever get any active Mormons?

JV:
Yes, but not necessarily on purpose. One year a woman who happened to be at the bar that evening saw our sign and announced, "I'm a Mormon." Noticing the beer in her hand, I figured her for one of us, and invited her to join the party. She hesitated a moment, scowled, and said, "No. I have to teach Relief Society tomorrow."

DB:
Too bad she passed on your invitation. She might have gained inspiration for her lesson.

JV:
Also we sometimes get some mystery guests. Folks who don't drink or interact, but seem overly curious. And most years the bar gets a call from an anonymous person asking, "How many Exmormons are there, and what are they doing?"

DB:
Think they might be Mormon spies?

JV:
Maybe. We don't ask and they don't tell.

DB:
Jerry, as the long time dedicated host of this and two other amazing Northern California Exmormon parties, the mantle of Exmormon leadership has deservedly fallen upon your shoulders. Has this high standing in the community afforded you any spiritual or prophetic powers?


JV:
Absolutely. I see more Exmormons in my future. Also bigger parties.

DB:
Sounds like true inspiration, Jerry. Thanks for imparting your wisdom here on Ward Gossip. Also thanks for being our host again this year.

JV: 
My pleasure, Donna.

One week from today!
Be there or be square!
Friday, July 24, 2015
5:30 pm
500 4th Street @ Bryant
San Francisco
415.546.6300**

**Call the bar if you get lost. Or if you're a creepy Mormon spy who wants to know what we're up to.

14 comments:

  1. Hi, Jerry! And what a fun event this must me!

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  2. Marion, join us if you can. Mormon Church affiliation is not required!

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  3. I really need to visit Utah sometime. The Pioneer Party sounds hilarious!

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    1. You mean San Francisco - that's where the Hotel Utah Saloon is, knotty. And it would be great to have you! I imagine there are some fun shenanigans in UT around Pioneer Day too, though. :)

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  4. Joseph Sphinx probably just wanted to cut loose and have some fun. He probably just wanted to party with the band and have a few drinks.

    "One year a woman who happened to be at the bar that evening saw our sign and announced, "I'm a Mormon." Noticing the beer in her hand, I figured her for one of us, and invited her to join the party. She hesitated a moment, scowled, and said, "No. I have to teach Relief Society tomorrow."

    Your loss, dear!

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    Replies
    1. Ahab, you'll have to come to one of our parties sometime. We guarantee a good time and you could write it off as research!

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  5. Yay, Jerry!

    That sphinx scares the crap out of me.

    I can't make it this Friday - if this the last gathering of the year? More importantly, does Jerry still have the exmormon.org pencils?

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    Replies
    1. *is (I curse autoincorrect!)

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    2. There's a third one in Sacto in August, JNOV. And I'm sure there will be pencils. :)

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  6. Sounds like a great time. Wish I wasn't so far away.

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  7. Brother Brigham and his merrry band of pioneers picked a shitty day to find the salt lake valley. I'm always in the middle of something I can't get out of in the days surrounding July 24. This year I'm filling in as Kim McAfee for two nights in a nearby community-in-the-sticks theatre's production of 'Bye Bye Birdie' because the original Kim McAfee lost her grandmother and had to travel out of state to say goodbye and wait around for the funeral. (May Grandma rest in peace.) Thursday is opening night, and Pioneer Day should be my final performance unless, God forbid, someone else in the original kim's family doesn't make it through the run of the show.

    I don't suppose the saloon admits those under 21, anyway, does it? nest year I'll be 21, but unless it's one of my rare days off as a 3rd year med student, I'll be up to my elbows in blood and gore.

    Have vicarious fun for me.

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  8. Dang it Jono and Alexis I wish you both could come. To CA vacations and valid ID's next year!

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  9. Ohhhh man! I'd love to go. =( Enjoy the loud laughter and evil speaking a little bit more than normal for me!

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  10. Will do, Heather. Hope to see you there sometime in the future!

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