From: Brother J. "Bull" Barton, Ward Preparedness Specialist
Subject: Ward Preparedness Update
Dear Abbottsville Fourth,
|Photo added by blog owner|
in hopes of attracting more
One year's supply of:
dehydrated pear flakes
Hazmat suits -- 2 per family member
Hand guns -- 2 per family member
Ammunition -- you can never have enough
Duct tape -- 4 rolls per family member
Consecrated oil -- 1 gallon per family member
Scriptures, The Ensign, dominoes, Yahtzee, Twister, and other amusements to help pass time in the bunker.
On a lighter note, I know that many of you share my high opinion of the Utah legislature and its recent resolution. In that spirit, I propose the establishment of our own Official Ward Gun. Nominations are now open.
This concludes your Ward Preparedness Update.
Your fellow patriot,
If you would like to stop receiving these e-mails, we'll send you a vat of KoriWhore's super-yummy dehydrated pear flakes.