Thursday, December 30, 2010

An Exmormon Christmas Carol

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Donna Banta
Subject: Our Family's Christmas

Millie Loomis's recent e-mail about her family's Thanksgiving prompted the San Francisco post-Mormons to explore new ways to celebrate the holidays. While spending Christmas with the believing LDS family may be traditional, it is not exactly merry and bright. At times, TBM family gatherings can reduce a gentle, reason-loving ex-Mormon into a hysterical, head-banging nut-job.

Rather than pad the walls of our parents' guest rooms, we decided to create a new family -- one we were neither born into nor assigned to visit. A "family of the heart," if you will. Or, in our case, a sanctuary city.

Our season commenced with a Post-Mormon Oakland Temple Light Excursion. Instead of the stop-off at the local Roundtable Pizza, we opted for Monaghans on the Hill, with its superior food and full bar! Mark and I bailed on visiting the temple grounds after. But the others reported that the lights looked amazingly good after a few cocktails, and the conversation with the missionaries flowed nicely as well.

"God only knows" where we'd be
without them!
Next came the Annual Christmas Concert, only this year we switched out the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at the Conference Center for The San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus at the Castro Theater.

The performance of O Holy Night -- worth four times the admission price
The chorus director's introduction of the theme from Big Love that included a mention of "those crazy Mormons" -- priceless.

Then on Christmas day, instead of piling into our cars and heading to the usual creamed soup/jell-o extravaganzas, we hung at our house for a Post-Mormon Christmas Dinner. It was laid back, with very few decorations, although I did put up the usual tribute to our (former) Savior.
Instead of a blessing on the food, we began with prosecco and limoncello cocktails. They definitely invited the spirit, and great conversation as well.

Below are pictures of some SF ex-Mormons being merry and bright.
Extreme caution advised!
As for the traditional "ringing in of the New Year?" We sure as hell won't be at the Stake Center dancing to this with the Single Adults:

Thanks, Insana D,  for forwarding me this smokin' hot video!!

We'll be together again,celebrating the end of yet another year of freedom and authenticity, and toasting to the beginning of the next. There will be delicious food and drink, welcoming and non-judgmental companionship, and, of course, the traditional "lightmindedness, loud laughter, and evil speaking of the Lord's anointed."

Psst, Abbottsville Fourth Ward, come hang with us on New Year's Eve. You know you want to!


  1. OMG! I love this. If I'm ever in San Francisco around Christmas/New Years I will definitely and shamelessly invite myself to the cool exmo party.

  2. CD, Come anytime, we're always partying!

  3. Sounds like fun-the pic of your feast look'd yummy. And prosecco and limoncello cocktails-double yum.

  4. You guys know how to party! I'm planning on being in the area sometime in February... (hint hint)

  5. @sueallen2546 the prosecco and limoncello was yummy, also lethal. Good thing we had plenty of food to absorb the alcohol!

    JZ, let me know when! Like I told CD we love an excuse for another party!

  6. Crikey, you have filled me with great goey gobs of green jealousy that all you folks live within range of each other and get to start a new and everlasting family of like minded folks who know how to have fun. Please post a video of ya'll doing Double Dream Hands when you get it perfected. Drunk Double Dream Hands sounds even better.

    I've seen video clips of the Gay Choirs and they make the Mo Tab look like a 1975 Lawrence Welk chorus compared to Woodstock.

    If I can get my geo-nano-transporter thingy working I'll beam BABB and I over to SF for your next gig. Damn, I hate missing a good party.

  7. Insana D, you are welcome anytime! Really, will you and BABB really come? AWESOME

  8. We would love to come sometime. There's some other folks I need to introduce you to that are in your neck of the woods that are a lot of fun. I wish there were such a thing as a geo-nano-transporter like in Star Trek but sadly, the only thing that comes close is a really high limit on a reputable credit card where flights can be charged. It's all so easy to rack up the expenses but then the bill arrives and suddenly the shyte hits the fan.

    If I could I would be there with bells on. Hey, I had a great idea for a party (not my own idea, but stolen fair and square). I saw a thing for the ugly Christmas Sweater theme party and everyone comes in the most hideous christmas sweater or vest they can find and then plays really lewd or irreverent games and drinks themselves silly.

    These ugly sweaters are going for like $80.00 on Ebay. Who knew?