From: Ricky and Mindy Foote, Stake Single Adults Leaders
Subject: Happy New Year, boy and girls!
Mindy and I are pleased to announce that President Knightly has decided to reinstate the Abbottsville Stake Single Adults Program!*
As always, we are honored to serve a group that includes so many near and dear, such as my former seminary teacher, Mindy's old high school principal, Sister Post who helped me earn my Duty to Country badge, and, of course, Mom.
We've really gone the distance to plan a super-fun New Year's Eve Dance** custom crafted for your unique status as LDS Single Adults.
Since President Knightly has ordered the Single Adult sisters to each invite one of the Single Adult brethren as her date, Mindy came up with some creative ways for you gals to pop that awkward question without it being too embarrassing.
1. Fill a basket with Hostess "Ding Dongs" and "Twinkies." Place the basket at his doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run. A message in the basket should read, "DING DONG! I'm ringing your bell to see if you'll go to the dance with a TWINKIE like me."
2. Find a bug splat on the windshield of his car. Make a big arrow and tape it onto his windshield pointing directly to the splat. On the arrow, write, "This takes a lot of GUTS, but I was wondering if you'd go to the dance with me!"
3. Hire a police officer to drive to your date's house, knock on his front door, handcuff him, and take him to the squad car. Leave a note on the car seat that has, "Now that I have ARRESTED your attention, will you go to the dance with me?" all spelled out in Hershey Kisses.
4. Bake a batch of homemade Parker House rolls, slather them with melted butter, leave them at his front door, ring the bell, and run. Attach a message to the pan that reads, "If I BUTTER you up, will you RISE to the occasion?"
Likewise, the brethren may choose one of the following methods of ACCEPTING the sisters' invitations
1. Give her a world atlas and a card that reads, "Yes! ATLASt you have asked me to the dance! You mean the WORLD to me! Without you, the EARTH would stop SPINNING! OCEANS couldn't keep us apart! Now that you have me, you've got the whole WORLD in your hands."
2. Duct tape your date's toilet seat shut. Across the tape write, "I'll GO with you."
3. For this idea, you will need some musical ability and a horse. Dress up as a handsome prince and ride the horse to her home. Use a trumpet to announce your arrival. When she comes to the door, dismount the horse, roll out a red carpet, walk to her threshold, kneel down and say, "I officially accept Your Majesty's invitation to the dance."
4. Send her a helium balloon that reads, "I'm UP for it."
Find more ideas here.
*Stake Single Adults may participate in Single Adult activities only if they first comply with the following conditions:
- Obtain a temple recommend or complete the Official Worthiness Questionnaire
- Fulfill your usual assignment at the Stake Family Christmas Party. That is, set up, serve dinner, man the nursery, and clean up afterwards.
- Attend tithing settlement. (Remember to bring your tax return!)
- Resolve to be married by the end of 2011.
**At the dance the following standards will be strictly enforced:
- No immodest dress. This includes pierced ears, facial hair or sideburns, and t-shirts advertising tobacco, porn, or caffeinated soft drinks. For more information, click here.
- No loitering. The halls, kitchen, auxiliary areas and bathrooms will be monitored by CCTV.
- Doors will be locked at 8:00 PM, no re-entrance allowed.
- The DJ's track list has been pre-approved by the stake presidency. No requests other than Janice Kapp Perry, the Osmonds, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
- Participation in the Chicken Dance is mandatory.
- At the stroke of midnight the brethren are required to give their dates a chaste kiss (no tongues.)
- We will adjourn at 12:01 AM sharp. Don't forget to call your home teacher when you get there.
If you would like to stop receiving these e-mails, you must first complete the Official Worthiness Questionnaire.