Wednesday, May 1, 2013

LDS Church Introduces Gay Deconversion Merit Badge for Boy Scouts

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward
From: Jim Harold, Ward Scoutmaster
Subject: Gay Deconversion Merit Badge

The experience of same-sex attraction continues to be a complex issue for the LDS Church. However, when the Boy Scouts of America recently changed their policy to include openly gay scouts, church authorities not only approved, they also sensed an opportunity. The creation of the Gay Deconversion Merit Badge!

Requirements for the badge are still in the planning stage, but are expected to include the following:

  1. Befriend a boy who's converted to gay and invite him to join your local scout troop.
  2. Kindly and with compassion, help the gay convert realize the depth of his shame. 
  3. Compose a 1,000 word essay entitled, "Why Our Heavenly Father Would Never Do That To Anyone." 

Additional requirements will most likely be the acquisition of some legal, social, and technical skills that may also be applied toward earning the "Crime Prevention," "Disability Awareness," and "Electricity" Merit Badges.

Also in the planning stage is a badge logo. Suggestions are welcome. In the meantime, be on the lookout for some converted gay boys!

If you would like to stop receiving these emails, the A-4 scout troup will soon be over to deconvert you.

Also leave your suggestions for the Gay Deconversion Merit Badge requirements and logo in the comment field!


  1. Does the scout lose his merit badge if the would-be "convert" realizes he was gay all along?

  2. Good question, Ahab. I think it will take some time for them to work the kinks out of the requirements. :)

  3. I have my typical questions and comments. I know I'm not the perfect Latter-day Saint that I would be if I were to cease in questioning the wisdom, inspiration, and revelation of the divine and holy Priesthood and follow the plan blindly as is intended. The Brethren know what is best for us and ALWAYS have our best interests at heart (possibiity of their own ecclesiastical advancement NEVER even entrs the picture) ,but, rebellious and proud soul that I am, I feel that I need once again to ask for clarification regarding some aspects of this assuredly holy and divinely inspired program.

    Question #1A:Who receives the merit badge, the gay person who "found" his heterosexuality, the faithful Latter-day Saint who forced him to find it, or both?

    Question #1B) What if the "homosexual" in question was never truly homosexual but was faking it? Does the deconversion therapy worker Scout still get his merit badge, as he was laboring in good faith, or is the whole thing null and void for all involved?

    (Q#1B) What if both knew it was a ruse all along but were just trying to hoard badges? (Maintaining a two-year supply of badges is really not an acceptable excuse, is it?) Because they went through the motions, just as many in the temple do with regard to the ceremony, signs and tokens, and so forth, are either or both still entitled to merit badges?

    Question#1C:Can two homosexual Scouts deconvert each other from homosexuality simultaneously and both receive merit badges for it? If so, is a chaperone required, and of what gender must the chaperone be? Does the chaperone receive a merit badge as well?

    to be continued

  4. Alexis AR, you raise serious questions indeed! They definitely don't have all of the kinks out yet. It's a "complex" issue.

    Thanks for the very funny suggestions!

    1. I can only hope this post was done "tongue in cheek". If it wasn't I'm truly sorry you would put unsubstancaited information on the web. My family is very involved in our branch and in the Scout troop it sponsors. As for your quote "when the Boy Scouts of America recently changed their policy to include openly gay scouts, church authorities not only approved". That is patently not ture. Concerning the area of homosexuality First Presidency referred the body of the church to Article of Faith 13 specifically this: We believe in being ....chaste...... The point, they said, was that we are to be sexually chaste, period; this is to mean sexuality of any and all forms.

      Secondly a "The creation of the Gay Deconversion Merit Badge!"? That I'll believe when I see it. The Scout motto is "On my honor, I will do my best
      To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
      To help other people at all times;
      To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight."

      The Boy Scout Oath has traditionally been considered to have three promises. The are:
      Duty to God and country,
      Duty to other people, and
      Duty to self

      The Scouts are taught that DUTY TO GOD AND COUNTRY means your family and religious leaders teach you to know and serve God. By following these teachings, you do your duty to God.

      I will not list all the merit badges (because there ase too many of them) whose requirements hold the boys to high moral standards. One of the badges even uses one of our church's publications to satisfy the requirements.

      So, stop spreading rumors and half-truths. It makes me shudder to think you are a Troop Leader. May I ask what Church Principles you are teaching your scouts? Certainly not those emphasized by our church, our Council nor the Troop Leaders I know.

      Frankly, I am ashamed of you!

    2. Olivia, thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and also for your lengthy comment. If you come back here again and read more, I believe you will find that the vast majority of my posts are satirical fiction, including this one. (Jim Harold, Ward Scoutmaster is a fictional character.)

      I am not a troop leader, but I am the wife of and mother to an Eagle Scout. I am well aware of the lengthy list of merit badges and I am also aware that the "Deconversion Badge" is not among them. (I made that up too. -- Thank goodness.) I'm pretty sure most people who have read this post, got that.

      As a former Mormon, I am disgusted by the shameful way that the LDS Church has treated gays and lesbians over the years. Actions you evidently support.

      I won't use this comment field to dissuade you from your opinion. But I will say that I am disappointed that LDS believers like you, as well as members of other fundamentalist faiths have pressured the BSA into maintaining its homophobic and cruel policies. I am also disappointed in the BSA for continuing to cave on this issue.

      In my opinion, you're on the wrong side of history. Also, I think you might consider lightening up just a bit!

    3. I didn't read this before. It's a most thoughtful answer to someone who takes herself far too seriously.

    4. I agree, AlexisAR. I appreciate that she read my post and took the time to respond.