Friday, May 30, 2014

Cheers to the Badly Behaved Mormon Women

Despite the  growing surge of members who are abandoning the faith,  the LDS Church continues to pour millions into advertising to impress nonmembers, while, at the same time, it ignores, insults or marginalizes some of its own. The most recent example came last week when, after ignoring 5 formal meeting requests from the Mormon feminist group Ordain Women, the LDS Church granted a 90 minute audience to the newly formed, obedience-oriented Mormon Women Stand.

As many of my gentle readers no doubt already know, Mormon Women Stand is the brainchild of Kathryn Skaggs, author of the blog, A Well-Behaved Mormon Woman. Her blog title, I assume, condescendingly refers to the Mormon feminist, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, who famously said, "Well-behaved women seldom make history." Whether the reference was intentional or not, Skaggs' blog posts have thus far been forgettable. For example, her recent argument that the film, Frozen, is part of "the gay agenda." (Spoofed here on Ward Gossip.)

I've been a little hard on the Mormon feminists over the years. Too hard probably. But perhaps that's because I used to be one. I remember the indignities--the premature releasings from callings, the warnings to my husband to get me in line, and, of course, the painfully patronizing explanations. But, Sister Banta, you get to have babies. -- Sister Banta, if you had the priesthood, which calling would you want? The mere mention of these memories has me covering my ears and screaming, "Make it STOP!"

In my mind, the most obvious solution was to leave the LDS Church. But then I'm no longer a believer, and the church members who support Ordain Women clearly are. Otherwise, the group would never have issued a public "thank you" today to LDS Public Affairs director, Michael Otterson, for suggesting their organization was "divisive and suggestive of apostasy."

One of the more comic aspects of this drama has been the assumption by the "well-behaved" sisters that those in the Ordain Women crowd are not really believers--for example, the reactions to Joanna Brooks' recent post on Feminist Mormon Housewives. Oh, they're believers all right. Nothing but the deepest belief could motivate an LDS woman to stand up to her priesthood leaders, and then stick around church to suffer the consequences.

In that spirit, tonight I raise my Friday night cocktail and say, "Cheers to the badly behaved Mormon women."

I hope that they will make history. I also hope that as they go forward, some will realize that there are many paths to spiritual fulfillment, even outside of Mormonism.

Because, in the near future, I doubt that the General Authorities will be entertaining any requests from Mormon feminists--unless they want to star in an "And I'm a Mormon" ad.

12 comments:

  1. Oh Miss Skaggs, you well behaved woman you.

    I wish I'd have been some sort of mormon feminist, but I don't think I would have been strong enough to take any punishment I may have received. Its good these women are realizing that the gender roles in Mormonism are NOT equal. Get 'em thinkin'.

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    1. Heather, I'm very glad that we left rather than stayed to fight the good fight. You and I are happier out, for some reason, they're happier in. Good for them. Definitely good for us!

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  2. I'd rather hang out with badly behaved women than obedient ones any day. Cheers to you, Donna, for having the self-respect and inner strength to be atrociously behaved.

    In any religious group, there will be people pushing for reform versus people who defend the status quo. If the former succeed, the religion makes progress and grows more humane. Will Mormonism take this route? Equally important is CAN it take this route, or is inequality so entrenched in its belief system that it can't really evolve? Time will tell.

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    1. So far the Mormon patriarchy is holding firm. But the Mormons are very good at rewriting their history, so as you say, Ahab, time will tell. I hope for the sake of the members it does become a more humane faith.

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  3. Not much is said by the church leaders of the "Well-Behaved Mormon Man." Why is that? Is it an assumption that all Mormon men (except for the masturbating missionaries, who are essentially considered "youth" [despite their paradoxical title of elder] by the LDS church) are by definition, well-behaved? Or is it because "well-behaved" is essentially a term used to describe children, and women are considered a mere half-step (if that much) above children, except for male children over twelve, who hold the priesthood and are therefore above women?

    Regardless, I'd rather, [to quote Billy Joel, who was and is more of a prophet than JS, The Lion of the Lord, , David O., Thomas S., and all the rest combined] "Laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun."

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    1. Ah yes. Only the good die young… I think you're onto something with the women=children in the LDS Church. The Mormons hold symposia for women all over the country under the title, "Time Out for Women."

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  4. Yep. Time out for women & children = punishment/redirection. Time out for men is merely a sports term.

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  5. To think I could have been all-powerful at age twelve if I were a Mormon. And then I could have said, "and I'm a Mormon!" with my changing voice cracking up.

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    1. Indeed, Jono. And at 12, when your daddy went out of town he would have told you and your mom that you and not she would have been in charge of the household until he returned. :)

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    2. And I would have been totally qualified. Not!

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  6. The church patriarchy are not unlike Cliven Bundy, hiding behind a bunch of disempowered (aka "faithful") women like that.

    Cowards.

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    1. Pretty darned silly to be afraid of a bunch of women in pants. ;)

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