Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Musings From The Mission Field - I'm Just Like Mitt!

To: abbottsville 4th ward
From: elder young, france paris mission
Subject: i'm just like elder romney!!!!! :-))))

hey abbottsville 4th!!!!!

first of all, thanks to sister renfro for the super yummy cream filled coconut balls! :-)))) comp and I polished off all 4 dozen of them in like idk a minute. haahahahaha

But even more thanks to brother newsome for sending us that giant box of romney stickers!!!!!! :-)))))

when we first saw them we hollered out YES!!!! gave each other double high-five and did a little happy dance all around the post office. then we looked around to see that everyone was all quiet and starring at us. that made us bummed all over again--not because people were all quiet and starring at us. that happens all the time. :-)))) we were bummed that the only people around us were french and they can't vote for elder romney. :-((((((((((((

then it hit us. ELDER ROMNEY-GeT IT? he also served a mission in france!!!! he tracted out Noter Dame and the Loover just like us, same way with the Musay Rodant. he probably even placed book of mormons at Hermies on the rue st. hornery, JUSt LIKE US!!! not only that, he probably had some super cool foot races with the gendarmes and the french police and who knows who else!!!! :-))))))

now it was clear that Heavenly Father had sent us here to bare witness not only to all the great things elder romney had done for america--but also for france!!!!! hahahahaha :-)))))) comp and i planned right then and there to spend our next preparation day going back to all those places and pass out romney stickers.

only when P day rolled around we found out that a bunch of us were supposed to go on this dumb field trip. It was arranged by that horse-faced sister missionary whose always going on about culture and trying to get us to look at art and stuff. this time she made us go to this place called givenchy, the home of this weird painter guy named Monay who obviously had really screwed up eyesight. anyway who cared about him? elder romney was way more interesting.

most people seemed to be outside, so comp and i went out into this really big backyard and wound around past all these people who were oohing and aahing over the flowers. It was an okay garden and all, but nothing like my Aunt Wilma's. it didn't even have nomes.

finally we got to this lake with a super tall footbridge. right off i knew it would be the perfect place to speak to the crowd about elder romney. then i turned to see horseface running toward us.

"where are you two going? we haven't finished our tour of the house yet."

"comp and i came outside to speak to people about elder romney."

"you will do no such thing"

-- her face got all red and she started to shake. also her voice sounded even more sarcastic than usual. i was a little scared but i didn't let on --

"i am determined to have one experience in france that isn't ruined by you two IMBECILES! will you please come back to the house!"

see what i mean about horseface? luckily comp and i don't let it get to us. we know that we're way more spiritually mature than she is. also she's just a girl.

"no way MISS BOSSY PANTS," i told her. hahahahaha

she unhooked that 10 ton sack of cement she calls a handbag from her shoulder and swung it at my head. i ducked and she went flying over me into the pond. she and the cement sack made this enormous splash and disappeared in the water. for a sec i was worried b/c she was under kind of a long time. then she came to the surface with her skirt over her head and started to drag the cement back to shore. boy does that girl have fat knees. at least i think it was her knee.

anywho, comp and i seized the opportunity and raced to the top of the bridge. comp took the stickers out of his backpack and tossed them toward the people along the banks. only the wind caught them and they all fell in the water, which was great because it turned monay's pond into a giant floating romney ad. then i called out:
Attention french citizens! we come as elder romney's ambassadors, and are happy to report that soon the leader of the free world will be a man who has done as much for France as comp and i have!

then things went all quiet, and everyone was starring at us. It was way spiritchul. :-))))

please keep those care packages coming, abbottsville 4th. comp and i need lots to sustain our testimonies. also send more stickers. we'll need 10 times as many when we visit Versatille!!!! hahaha lolololololololololololol :-)))))))))

love, elder young

If you would like to stop receiving these emails, you can just forget it MISS BOSSY PANTS!


  1. Poor Miss Bossy Pants. And poor French people!

  2. While I never served a mission, Sister Horseface is probably my most autobiographical character on this blog. Totally my BYU experience.

  3. I don't know what "bare witness" involves, but I suspect it would get Elder Young arrested.

    :: wolf whistles ::

  4. I'm afraid you may be right, Ahab. Luckily elder young has so far managed to elude the gendarmes. :)

  5. Elder Young needs a date with Veronica over at White and Delightsome. I see some spiritchul bondage in his future.

  6. I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post's to be precisely what I'm looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn't mind composing a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome blog!

  7. I might. But not from an anonymous poster. ;)